“Everyone around me was happy, manically happily, as if I was at some freak show, except that I was the freak because I was the only one crying”, laughs Tyreen Ragadu, a first year journalism student, as she nervously curls her black painted finger nails through her scarf. Tyreen, one of the winners of the Steve Biko writing competition and who received an impressive aggregate for a film and media learnership, knew “with out a doubt” that she was destined to study at Rhodes University. The smell of change was in the air and she was ready to grab it but unfortunately her grip on the rope slackened barely a week into her new life.
Her tune quickly changed to there being, “no doubt in my mind that I want to leave”. This comment was delivered with shocking confidence because after a month of weeping in her room she realised that she had made a big mistake. An honest mistake or a premeditated mistake, she was not sure but what ever it was, it was a mistake and she wanted out. The state of her room made this all the more evident. It looked as though it was ready to jump up and follow her as soon as she made her great escape. Boxes lay open; their innards spilling out over cupboard doors, her overnight suitcase still packed to the brim and no pictures or friendly decorations covering the drab walls. It looks as if she is just waiting for the interior design police to unexpectedly barge in and expel her from her nightmare.
At a hint that perhaps a considerable transformation of attitude was in order, she replied with a touch of irritation, despite her shyness, that, “it’s nonsense when people tell you that you have to change your attitude. Why do I have to sacrifice my happiness just because this is Rhodes and you are supposedly a freak for wanting to leave it”? She is aware that many people would kill for such an opportunity and that this makes her part of the stereotypical “beauty school dropout” but she has other plans that will take her just as far. Her attitude, which she knows will be the right one in the right place, will take her where she needs to go. It’s off to Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University to study Media, Communications and Culture and if you can fit in anymore after that mouthful, Tyreen hopes to travel the world as an airhostess in order to find her prince charming and finally settle down and live the stereotypical dream that Rhodes tries hard to squash out of you. “I am just not a career-orientated, power-hungry individual” she admits with a giggle because she knows that if her mother had to hear that, it would be tickets!
Tyreen recalls that in a recent journalism lecture a first year student had written to him/herself about their experience at Rhodes and she could relate to how Rhodes only accepts certain types of individuals and “cheers to the rest of you”. She too felt a similar crush of identity and was angered by the inability of students to transcend the stereotypes. “You either have to be an academic and sit in your room all night or you have to be a party animal and anyone else is probably in second year and they do not offer any assistance” says Tyreen with disappointment and further curling of her fingers through her scarf.
“We need Tyreen because of her very interesting sense of humour and she adds balance to our group”, says Tyreens’ close friend, Phemelo, who along with the rest of the group is disappointed at Tyreens decision to leave. Evidently though, not even friendship will hold this rebel back because even if she had no choice but to stay, Tyreen jokingly admits that, “you will then have to bring me a rope!” But as if sickened by her joke or the prospect of the death sentence proposed, the laughs subsides into a deep sigh that seems to expose her gloom at having lost sight of her Rhodes dream but the end of the sigh is filled with the sad fact that, “there truly is no choice, I have to leave before I become any more of a freak”.
Her tune quickly changed to there being, “no doubt in my mind that I want to leave”. This comment was delivered with shocking confidence because after a month of weeping in her room she realised that she had made a big mistake. An honest mistake or a premeditated mistake, she was not sure but what ever it was, it was a mistake and she wanted out. The state of her room made this all the more evident. It looked as though it was ready to jump up and follow her as soon as she made her great escape. Boxes lay open; their innards spilling out over cupboard doors, her overnight suitcase still packed to the brim and no pictures or friendly decorations covering the drab walls. It looks as if she is just waiting for the interior design police to unexpectedly barge in and expel her from her nightmare.
At a hint that perhaps a considerable transformation of attitude was in order, she replied with a touch of irritation, despite her shyness, that, “it’s nonsense when people tell you that you have to change your attitude. Why do I have to sacrifice my happiness just because this is Rhodes and you are supposedly a freak for wanting to leave it”? She is aware that many people would kill for such an opportunity and that this makes her part of the stereotypical “beauty school dropout” but she has other plans that will take her just as far. Her attitude, which she knows will be the right one in the right place, will take her where she needs to go. It’s off to Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University to study Media, Communications and Culture and if you can fit in anymore after that mouthful, Tyreen hopes to travel the world as an airhostess in order to find her prince charming and finally settle down and live the stereotypical dream that Rhodes tries hard to squash out of you. “I am just not a career-orientated, power-hungry individual” she admits with a giggle because she knows that if her mother had to hear that, it would be tickets!
Tyreen recalls that in a recent journalism lecture a first year student had written to him/herself about their experience at Rhodes and she could relate to how Rhodes only accepts certain types of individuals and “cheers to the rest of you”. She too felt a similar crush of identity and was angered by the inability of students to transcend the stereotypes. “You either have to be an academic and sit in your room all night or you have to be a party animal and anyone else is probably in second year and they do not offer any assistance” says Tyreen with disappointment and further curling of her fingers through her scarf.
“We need Tyreen because of her very interesting sense of humour and she adds balance to our group”, says Tyreens’ close friend, Phemelo, who along with the rest of the group is disappointed at Tyreens decision to leave. Evidently though, not even friendship will hold this rebel back because even if she had no choice but to stay, Tyreen jokingly admits that, “you will then have to bring me a rope!” But as if sickened by her joke or the prospect of the death sentence proposed, the laughs subsides into a deep sigh that seems to expose her gloom at having lost sight of her Rhodes dream but the end of the sigh is filled with the sad fact that, “there truly is no choice, I have to leave before I become any more of a freak”.
1 comment:
Dear Raisa,
I really enjoyed your profile post on Tyreen Ragadu. It was such an interesting story as it portrayed a view of a Rhodes student that you don’t often get to see. It showed the usually silent suffering that people tend to go through in their first year and the realisation that not everyone can pull through it. But most importantly that it is not a bad thing if you decide that Rhodes is not for you. The manner in which you described her room and how the boxes are basically packed and ready to go made me laugh and I could picture it so clearly. The quotes from both Tyreen and Phemelo (her friend) that you used helped me get a real sense of her character. The anecdote that she recalls from her journalism lecture allowed me to realise that Tyreen is not the only one who does not feel at home at Rhodes. All of these things showed me a part of Tyreen and I did not feel (contrary to her own belief) that she is a freak but rather a hero taking a different path.
Great job!
Tarryn
http://www.talesfromarhodent.blogspot.com
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