the first year spread that never came

Dear younger and naïve Karabo
First year was the year you became legal, the year most of your friends back home in Pretoria said was to be the beginning of the never ending party. Funny, at varsity it could be like that if you do not watch yourself. One thing though that really got to you was ‘the first year spread’- okay well the opposite of the spread that is. The way people went on about it was just unnecessary hype. When you got to varsity you learned one thing pretty fast- every thing tends to happen in extremes and finding the middle ground is difficult. The parties are endless, the alcohol flows like water, and the readings are so long you would think that the lectures had a conspiracy against students reading all their readings.
So after going through all this you still expecting and trying to stop a ‘natural’ body make- over- when it hits you that instead of having more of yourself to see there is lesser of you. Then when you were asked about it you figured it was because you were assigned a residence in Kimberly Hall also known as the hill or at least that was the story that you told everyone when you got home during vacation. What could one expect to happen with all the walking you did?
As the year went by it persisted and you found yourself wondering what was wrong with you when other were comparing the kilos they had gained. Getting thinner could have been a sign of an eating disorder, high levels of stress or maybe a serious case of homesickness. People don’t tell you about all the opposite side the first year spread when you leave, it is almost none existent. You do every thing that those that are spreading do but yet you don’t spread. If something had been said before hand about this then you would have not been harbouring fear of a silent slow death or maybe a tapeworm( after that episode of Oprah with Dr OZ holding the 1 meter worm, you never know).
So my girl it is like I told you at the beginning, it is either you gain it all or you loose it all, it is up to you to find a proper middle ground.
For your reading pleasure, from your older and maybe wiser self.

A few things you need to know

Hello my little friend,

I thought I would write to you and give you some helpful pointers that I wish someone had given me. This is the time in your life were you will learn and grow my advice to you is to get involved in as much as possible you only experience first year once. You will notice that drinking is a major factor at Rhodes and it is hard to find a balance between partying and working. It will take you awhile to get into the swing of things but trust me it will happen and you will be fine. Do not let the work get on top of you it is very different to high school but you can do it. When it comes to partying enjoy it but do not make it the be-all and end-all of your life. You will meet people that do this and will try drag you into the lifestyle they lead, resist the temptation you will be better off for doing so.

Now when it comes to the male species, a warning, approach with caution. The thing about the majority of the first and second years is that they are only after one thing. Their priority is to build a formidable reputation and ‘spread their seed’. I know it sounds bad but there is hope not all of them have the same mentality.

The friends you meet at university become your sisters you rely on them and they rely on you. Your group of friends will be your family away from home so choose wisely. Do not be fooled by first impressions and trust your instincts.

There will be ups and downs but that’s life take them with a pinch of salt and a lemon. J I know you will do fabulously!

With lots of love,
Your crazy big sister.

Yours Truly

Hey Lady

How are you? Shucks, you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I hope you’re doing well. I was flipping through some old photo albums today when I came across a sepia photo of you and the sisters, taken when you were hardly a year old. It made me realise just how much you’ve grown, and inspired me to share some of my thoughts with you.

You’ve become quite the young lady over the past few months, hey? I’m so proud of you. I think what I’m most proud of is the way you’ve held on so tightly to the Ithu you’ve always wanted to be, uncompromising of the vision you have always had for yourself. Way to go girl! I hope with all my heart that when you get to varsity within the next few weeks, you’ll continue to pursue that dream of becoming the best ‘you’ you can be. Change is undoubtedly inevitable. Coupled with the difficulties of varsity life, the inconsistence of your personal life can take you on quite the emotional roller coaster ride, but have faith and hold on tight. I’ve seen a lot of young women letting go of their dreams just because someone made them think that being themselves wasn’t enough. Well I want you to know that you are enough. You – with your not-quite-straight teeth, your “African heritage” booty and your spotted face – you are enough, and perfect in your imperfection. The beauty of varsity life is that we are all so different that it’s almost impossible to define that which is normal. Nevertheless, don’t lose yourself in the hype – have fun while staying true to you.

Oh, and you must of course never forget the rule of thumb – keep your friends close and your chocolate closer!

Much love
Ithu

Time to finish your homesickness jail sentence!

Dear Rice I am always watching you and have seen you suffering but have also witnessed your ability to laugh at yourself and your situations. There is not one situation that you haven’t eventually giggled at, so I think it is high time that you start chuckling at your homesickness. Remember those endless nights where someone would knock on your door, but you feared that if you opened it your tears would gush out and drown them? So you remained inside because you could not handle a charge of murder on top of your homesickness death sentence. They were there to pull you out of your jail cell but instead you opened photo albums and poured over them as tears poured down your already red and irritated cheeks. Curling up in a foetal position, you would fall asleep sucking your thumb like a child! Post-depression-session would find you smacking base on your face, something that you never do, just to cover up bags, which were so big that they could carry your school books! Such a waste of money and no wonder you always felt uncomfortable in your skin! I know that you are not alone and I understand that homesickness isn’t something to scoff at. Homesickness is a vicious feeling that keeps you up at night and confines you to your bed in the morning. It is also something that takes many of us by surprise because although it is talked about in that very “helpful” guide to surviving university, it is still a very personal, isolating issue that many students suffer from in silence. You have always been someone who adapts easily to new situations and living close by in Port Elizabeth and having moved away to Pretoria for a year at the tender age of 16, meant that you could handle the separation. I know you hate clichéd bits of advice but change is exactly that, change, and it is usually followed by harsh phrases such as “suck it up” and “get over it!” So next time, please open that door because I am quite sure that whoever is on the other end won’t mind swimming in your tears because more likely than not they will one day ask you to go swimming in theirs. Yours in laughter! Raisa

Confessions of a Crazy Couch Potato

This is our first time online, Yay!!!